The project is a series of collages that can be used for an exhibition in any size with a conceptual description. Further, I would like to implement this project on a larger scale, use a larger format for work, expand the content, as well as add elements of performative practice and video (develop a theme).


concept part

Some moments of the past are best cemented in the present by a relict wave of fear. Even if an adult realizes the logical necessity of some action in the past, the residual fear sometimes surprises, and the psyche can combine seemingly incompatible things, themes and lead to completely new thoughts and feelings — completely ready-made ingredients for personal mythology.

At 4 years old, I underwent an adenotomy and tonsillectomy (an operation to remove tonsils and adenoids). In the 80s, such operations were performed without anesthesia, and I think a large number of children remember the memories associated with this action. Although later I had no problems with sore throats, sometimes the the trigger “with shards of glass” in the throat flashes sharply.

 

Genetically I have continued in my children, sometimes I face their fears in the process of computer gaming. This is how a certain psychophysiological collapse and a different interpretation of my old experiences arose. The relict fear was perturbed, peeled off and found its new incarnation in the guise of the character of the popular computer game ICE SCREAM Rod Sullivan, nicknamed Ice Cream Man. I come into battle with him in my cyber identity — a “hero” on the field of “augmented” digital reality, where my psycho-emotional state of memory is developed, including the physical space that surrounded me then, fragments of memories, associative rows, cultural codes, and so on. The result — victory is the simulation of a new quality of a healthy mythologized personality, with a defeated relict fear in the genomic identity transmitted to my son.

*Note:

A few words from Med-Info portal “Adenoids are useful fabric, special additional child protection. In adults, there are no adenoids. In puberty, at the age of 14-15, they begin to decrease, and by the age of 18 they completely disappear. Normal adenoids (grade zero) are a thin, neat strip of tissue behind the nose in the middle of the skull. If the strip is slightly wider, this is the 1st degree, which also applies to the norm. The second degree is when, instead of a strip of tissue, a lump grows, which half overlaps the back of the nose. If the adenoids overlap the parts of the nose by 2/3 and the child breathes through a narrow slit, then this is considered grade 3

The fourth degree is extremely rare, when the adenoids completely block the nose. At the 2nd and 3rd stages, the adenoids begin to overlap from the inside and the ears. The mother is required to notice the problem in time and consult a doctor, try to solve it with medication. The meaning and purpose of treatment is to reduce the size of the adenoids.

 In our country, in some clinics, adenoids are still removed without anesthesia, “making money”. Anesthetic is dripped into the nose, the child is tied. The operation to cut the adenoids is considered one of the bloodiest, since they are densely supplied with vessels — this is their anatomical feature. When they are removed, all of these vessels bleed.

The danger is that with this method, the doctor removes the adenoids blindly. He introduces the instrument by touch, cuts something off… It looks like a medieval torture, and even the operation becomes very poor quality. The doctor, naturally, is afraid to cut off the excess and, as a rule, cuts off quite a bit. There is a lot of blood, a lot of stress, and little effect. In this case, the doctor cannot qualitatively remove the adenoids, so after a while they grow back.”.